Is it Frustration or Pain?

Is it Frustration or Pain?

I've been having difficulty with a low frustration tolerance level lately.

A couple weeks ago I notice my wireless keyboard and mouse was not working properly. At first I thought it was the computer, but I eventually ruled that out. So I thought I would just switch out for a wireless set on my old computer in the office. But this set also behaved like it was asleep half the time and just lazy the rest of the time. So I tried my husband's set from the office — it too was on strike. Finally I resurrected a set of plugged in keyboard and mouse — finally it worked! But I was still angry and mad at the three sets that had not worked as they should. Finally my anger won out and I started tossing them across the room — out, out, dark spot! I finally ordered a new set and everything is fine.

Then last weekend my husband and I wanted to use one of our Christmas gift certificates at Bertuccis. We got there around 1:30 PM and the parking lot was full! I was angry! And my anger got even worse when we found the handicapped parking spot filled with a pile of snow left from someone who plowed the parking lot! They couldn't pile it in a regular spot? Is the snow disabled? I suspect the driver who plowed the snow is suffering from some sort of mental disability called stupidity.

The following day we went to church and found our ancient wooden pew crowded by the pew in front of it. I tried to sit there but my knees got crushed by the pew in front of me. This row is important to me. At the end of 2005 I decided we had to change where we sit in the church because people who are sick would sit behind or next to me and then proceed to cough and spit and share more than their fellowship with me. This pew is one of the few pews that are backed against the wall of the sanctuary. I couldn't sit in the crowded pew, so I had to sit on a folding chair to the side of it. This was not the best solution since my bum will go to sleep half way through the sermon. My right hip prefers to have my right knee bent so I put my foot on the rung located on the back of the folding chair in front of me. This was not the greatest solution to the crowded wooden pew and I was having trouble with people moving the chair without first checking to find my foot on the back rung. As time went by I found myself getting more and more angry. I finally had to go the bathroom for a good old fashioned cry.

My frustration tolerance had hit rock bottom, leaving anger and tears. I thought it was because of people who have no consideration for others, especially for people with disabilities. But is this really what the problem is? Other times I can be gracious, but there are times like this that I just get angry time after time.

In the past I found that my frustration tolerance level would go down because of pain that I had been ignoring. Living with chronic pain, I've learned to ignore it to a degree. It is like a pressure cooker, with that steam valve that lets the extra pressure out. But when it gets to be too much for too long, it's like the time my mother's pressure cooker exploded, leaving stew all over the walls and ceiling in the kitchen. My anger explodes, leaving bodies strewn all around me.

The solution to the problem?